Love vs. Falling in Love (My Perfectly Imperfect Story)

What is love?

Well love is anything.

Your Food,

Your TV,

Your bed,

Your favorite chair at the dinner table,

Your favorite show on netflix,

 Your family,

Your favorite pair of shoes,

Your favorite swear word, (yes we all have one..)

 You thought of one didn't you..;)

 Anything is love.

BUT...

What is "Falling in Love"

Have we ever fallen in love?

Have you ever fallen in love?

Have I ever fallen in love?

I have fallen in love. 

 We were in fifth grade.

I didn't know much about you but I knew you, I saw you.

To me you were perfect.

We met, and fell in as much love as little 11 year old's could be.

I can still remember people laughing at me for liking you, but I didn't care.

We were "In Love"

I can still remember the first time we hugged.

So awkward.

It was like a first kiss for a high school student.

But still so perfect.

So unique.

So different. More different then anything I had ever felt.

Fifth grade went by,

we entered sixth and were still,

"In Love"

I felt something different for you then I ever had.

As so young as 12 years old I was,

"In Love"

We left elementary school, into our new lives of middle school.

Parted our ways to different places.

New people.

New Love.

Can kids so young as 11 fall in love is the real question.

I believe yes they can... because I did.

I still am in love just from those two small years.

But it was perfectly imperfect.

 Saying "I Love You." so young was so silly yet..so REAL.

But I will never forget the way my little heart beat every time I saw him.

Every time we saw each other I got nervous.

Like it was the first time.

I will always Love him.

Because as for now,

That has been the only time I have ever

"Fallen In Love"

What is Caring?

I wish I was someone who cared to be more serious,

Someone who cared to take education seriously,

Someone who cared that I only got a C on my test,

Someone who cared that I tripped and fell in the commons,

Someone who cared that I forgot to put on underwear that day,

Someone who care that I forgot mascara,

Someone who cared that I bite my nails,

Someone who cared...

Those 7 things are not caring.

I want to be someone who cares more about going down a slide then being serious.

Someone who doesn't give a crap about the ACT and instead tries to balance a pencil on my nose.

Someone who got asked "What is 2+2.." and said the answer was 5 but cares more about laughing about it later.

Someone who fell in the commons and cared that everyone saw because it was epic!

Someone who forgot to put on underwear but cared more about how someone was doing that day.

Someone who forgot mascara but cares more about telling someone they look prettier then they do!

Someone who bites their nails but cares more about painting someone else's nails to make them feel good instead of worrying about their own.

Caring is not what is going on in the school system.

Or what you are feeling about the way you did on a test.

Caring is about enjoying the big things instead of worrying about the little ones.

Caring is about worrying for the person next to you, trying to make sure you are brightening their day.

Why care about things that don't matter...

I can promise you when we all go to our high school reunions,

No one is going to care about your ACT score,

that day you forgot underwear,

the time you forgot to wear mascara.

What they are going to care about is how you treated them...

How you cared for them.

Completely In The Ordinary. We Are Humans

I am human.

I have feelings.

I overreact.

I get upset when boys don't like me back.

I laugh when someone falls down a set of stairs.

I smile when two people kiss during a movie.

I get mad when people don't snapchat me back.

I get excited when I get a text, then frown when I realize its a computer telling me I have gone over my Data Plan on my cell phone.

I get the warm fuzzy feeling inside right before I kiss a boy.

I get nervous to share personal things.

I am self critical.

I feel the pain of others.

I cry every time Jack and Rose part during the Titanic.

I pee my pants when I laugh too hard.

But if you take a minute to look and realize all the weird unnormal things that you feel,

You will discover that you are completely in the ordinary.

It is okay to,

laugh,

cry,

feel pain,

punch/kick a wall.

You can cry when Jack sinks to the bottom of the ocean.

You can get upset when someone you have been crushing on denies you.

You can pee your pants when you laugh too hard!

Who says that's a problem...

Your friends?

Are we supposed to be robots who feel one emotion.

Are we supposed to pretend things that bother us really don't in fear we may be judged?

NO.

Because really,

 We are different,

We are unique,

We Are Human.

 

Can we talk about happiness....

  I want to promote happiness.

.

To be Happy you have to know happiness.

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?!

Happiness is that warm burning feeling in your soul,

It's that impulse to hug and squeeze everyone you see that day.

It's that feeling so sing every word to every song you have ever heard.

It is that amazing feeling to be different.

It is the feeling to try something new.

To step outside of your comfort zone.

To smile at a stranger.

To go up to someone completely random and say "Hey how are you?"

Being happy isn't just filling the empty hole in your heart.

It is filling that empty hole in someone else's heart to fill your own.

Happiness is one of those things that you give and take.

It is a two way street.

You cant just walk on one side..sometimes you have to hop onto the other side to see the other side.

Happiness is Love.

No matter if we are black, white, short, tall, skinny, fat, 

we are all stuck on this earth together in one love.

So why not make the best of it and love each other?

Because if we do...

We can all have the beautiful thing called...

HAPPINESS

Crayons With Dreams

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

This topic is something no one is willing to take seriously.

What is a crayon?

Or even better, what is a child?

I believe many people don't want to think about being a child because the world is so caught in growing up and moving on.

Moving on to what? 

Bigger and better things? 

Growing up and working the same 9 to 5 job everyday.

Growing up and driving home during rush hour thinking where did my childhood go?

Growing up thinking the way everyone else does,

working the way everyone else does, 

learning the way everyone else does.

What kind of sick twisted world are we in?

The kind where we have to learn to be like everyone else?

The kind where we can be born and be cute for  6 years of our lives then start taking on this thing called responsibility?

The kind where thinking outside of the box is unrealistic.

They tell us to make "SMART" goals in high school.

What the hell is a "SMART" goal?

All the letters must stand for something, let's skip to the letter R.

In our jacked school system the R stands for...

REALISTIC

Hmm okay?

So realistic meaning,

Doctor,

Surgeon,

Dentist,

Lawyer,

That' what the world wants to be.

That is a true definition of realistic goals.

Is it?

No.

I say screw them, 

screw the whole idea of being normal,

screw an everyday 9 to 5 job,

screw sitting in rush hour traffic!!!!!

If you want to be an Astronaut be and Astronaut,

If you want to play in the NFL, play in the NFL,

If you want to be a Cowboy be a Cowboy

 If you want to be an Actress be an Actress!!

When did becoming different be such a problem?

When did it stop being okay for you to be a yellow, blue, purple, or green crayon?

Because that imagination of that little blue crayon is something special.

Don't you ever let someone take that away from you.

Don't be worried about what you are to become..

Worry about what you are.

And are you still that little blue crayon with the dream to be an Astronaut...?

That's up to you.

Because really we are all just little Crayons With Big Dreams.

 

The unIntelligent in Paris

 Writing is supposed to be about intelligence...right...

Wrong.

My whole life I have never been the smartest in my class.
The school teachers say, "You'll never make it, you don't have what it takes, " or my favorite..   

"You're different."

It creates a ripple effect to the point when I believe the words spilling from their mouths.
Through school aren't we supposed to learn to be smart, to have that intelligence everyone craves?
I want to learn to be confident sophisticated, to learn to not ask Siri how to spell sophisticated.
I sit and ask myself...isn't that what I want to be?

No.

There is such an expectation of this thing we call intelligence.
But its not real.

Is it?

You see I want to be a friend, a motivator, a helper, a giver, a loving human being.
I want to walk into a room and have peoples day light up.
I want people to be uplifted when I am there and miss me when I am not.

Isn't that what we all should want?

I want to make people laugh, and love their lives.
I want to keep them happy and love who they are.

But to the real world that is unacceptable.

Why?

Why can't it be acceptable?

Because we are afraid of being what we truly want to be.
I am afraid of being what I truly want to be.

Because to me and everyone else deep down,
The love..
The light..
The happiness..
The laughter..

That is our Paris.