I am I am I am afraid

I'm afraid...

I am afraid of getting old.

I am afraid of responsibility when I am older.

I am afraid of not being able to be afraid of the dark.

I am afraid of wearing a pair of heals and not being able to walk on the back of them because someone will look at me weird.

I am afraid of getting a full time job and not being able to screw around all day.

I am afraid of growing up and having kids and raising them wrong.

I am afraid of driving on a road to a job that I hate so I can pay the bills.

I am afraid of not being able to sleep with my favorite blanket anymore.

I am afraid of paying bills.

I am afraid of getting scared and my parents not being there to comfort me.

Do you think that an adult ever wants to not do these things?

Do you think that an adult wants to scream and sing as loud as they can while they shop?

Do you think that an adult wants to walk on the back of their heals?

Because really I think we are all afraid of growing up.

I think we are so afraid of the darkness but the darkness surrounds us.

I think adults are too afraid of being judged so they act mature. 

I am afraid of turning into that.

Into what?

A robot.

I don't want to do the regular daily routine like all the other adults someday.

But the truth is..

It's coming..

It is coming as fast as a train. And there is no way to stop me from becoming an adult.

There is no way for me to not go and have a full time job so I can pay my bills.

I will always be stuck as an adult.

And the worst part is..

This fear of mine will haunt me for the rest of my life..

What Is A Like Or A Favorite?

What does it mean to get a "like" or a "favorite" on instagram or twitter?

It is the approval of someone else.

You should be posting things for yourself.
And I know that sounds dumb..BUT, it is important.
How many of us care if we break 200 likes on an instagram picture?
Too many of us.

We post about the memories.

But what happened to a little disposable camera?
The ones that had to get the film developed and if you looked bad in a picture you couldn't edit it.
You were who you were in the pictures no one could like them or fav them you just were happy with is because it was a memory you made with people you love.
And you didn't need the satisfaction of others laying on your shoulders you were you and were happy with that.

Isn't that how we all should be?

Becuase a like on instagram or a fav on twitter doesn't mean anything if you aren't happy with yourself.

9 Steps On How To Hide ADD

1. Don't talk about random stuff. Always talk in literate terms. I don't even know what literate means but I would imagine it is something smart that keeps some people educationally stimulated.
 
2. Always focus on the subject don't let your mind wonder, like the other day when I was in the Mountains alone and saw a dear prancing along the road.
 
3.Always take your medication. My medication is purple. Which reminds me of my childhood hero Barney who was purple with a green stomach.

4. Don't draw on your hand to focus. That reminds me I need to write on my hand that I have an appointment at 4:30.
 

5.  You need to sit still in your seat at all times so you don't annoy the people around you.
Oh my goodness this one time I was moving around in my desk and then the chair broke because I was leaning back too far on it and it was so funny.
 
6. When you drive a car you need to sit up and not jam out to music. There's this one song that gets me so excited when I am in the car I almost crash every time.
 
7. Don't talk to other people. I mean you can talk to them but not too much because then of course everyone will think that you have ADD and your cover is blown. But every time someone tells me not to talk to someone I always want to talk even more. Whenever it is quiet I just need to scream bloody murder.

8. Always do your homework no matter how much it hurts you to sit down and do the work you have to do it. Whenever I try to do homework I always get so turnt on like Beethoven. Because apparently Beethoven is supposed to help you focus but all of the little instruments in the song run through my hear the next thing I know the music has overtaken me.
 
9. Forget everything I just said. Really just forget it. ADD doesn't change who you are. It doesn't exists just because your doctor told you, you cannot focus because you are a well driven high thinking person doesn't mean you have ADD. It means you are special and have a power that not many people do. So just forget it all, and just be YOU!

THIS IS TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE

I hope one day I am as funny as Chris Farley because honestly who does not love this man?

If you want to know what different is then it is him.

People shouldn't be so afraid of embarrassment.

Who cares if you accidentally do a double chin in a picture,

or pee your pants in public,

or say something stupid,

because chances are that made you different and not only that..

IT MADE SOMEONE SMILE!

ADD WHOOP WHOOP

We have the Doers those who sit in class do their work and excel acedemicaly.
We have our Thinkers those who think logically and stick to what the world wants the upcoming generations to become.
Then we have our dreamers. Who don't pay attention and are always dreaming about things that are bigger and better and different and explore the impossible with their mind.
The dreamers are also known as the ADD's.
They say, "You can't pay attention," "You can't learn this lesson."

I can still remmeber to this day taking the test to see if I had ADD.
I remember my mom trying to hide it from me.
I always knew though. I always knew I was different and I loved that.
Until i got into high school...
 

As i enetered high schol i was treated differently. But not the good kind of different.
I didn't know there was such a thing as a bad different.

I always was having these meetings to plan my ftuture becuase i guess i couldn't figure that out on my own.
They kept up on my personal life i always felt like i was in a therapy session.

I was treated like i couldn't do anyting from the neck down. Like i as completely disabled and helpless.
I felt that i had no respect that i was a puppy that wanted to stop and smell the roses but i was being choked down a boaring desert filled with nothing but brown sand.
I wasnt allowed to explore i was a mouse stuck on a sticky trap so bored i was screaming kill me but instead they made me sit there where i could not move just sit and be brainwashed.

But thats the thing about being different and being pulled in many different ways that you dont want to be pulled.
You learn who you are and who you want to become.
So i would like to thank all those councelors who told me i wasnt smart enough, who told me i couldn't take that hard class, for telling me my dreams and aspirations weren't good enough. 
This is for everyone who told me i couldn't.
Thank You.