hi my name is....

My A4 class all sat in the computer lab thinking of our pen names...
They all had spectacular names with meaning and purpose.
Or maybe not even that, they just sounded intelligent, or like they were about to drop some unreal writing into Paris.
I remember asking Nelson..
"I want my blog name to be inspiring.."
His answer was..
"Your pen name isn't going to inspire people it will be what you write."

If you really knew me, you would know that I am a fly by the seat of your pants kind of person.
IF you really knew me you would know that I have a heart full of love and the last person I am thinking about is myself.
If you really knew me you would know that I love giving people a good laugh.
If you really knew me...you would know that while I sat there in that writing lab this is what went through my head.

"Okay..my blog name will be the first thing name that pops into my head.."
Well the first name to pop into my head was Ronda..
And if any of you really know me you would know that that would be a dead give away.
So unfortunantly the second name to pop into my head was..Agatha.

So I said what the heck and put it in.

I had no idea it was going to effect my amount of readers or the amount of comments I got on my posts.
I feel as though the people who's blogs were read had ellequint and saficticated names.
My name made me look like a tourist.
But I am not a tourist.
You can't judge a book by its cover.
I think that is one of the reasons I was never afraid to show who I was before we revealed all of this.
I think that's why I write like I talk.
Everyone could pick out who I was like a sore thumb.

The pen names really shouldn't have effected how you wrote.
This big reveale shouldn't determaine wheather you delete that heartfelt post or not.
We all enjoyed this jouney in paris together.
 And it was a pleasure getting to know the other side of all of you. so..

Hi My Name Is Alyssa Wilde

There bad comes with good. BUT the good is what to remember.

I remember walking into my first day of preschool. How excited I was. Just a cute innocent 5 year old. Taking on adventures other than being a princess locked in a tower.

I remember having the largest smile on my 6 year old face walking into kindergarten with all of the "big kids".

I remember being chubby but still somewhat of a cut little 7 year old girl finally going into 1 grade where I could now finally go to my full day of school, with lunch, and recess.

I remember being 8...and that is when it began. I remember walking down the hallway just a little girl happy to be there when a big kid told me I was fat and ugly..and to put down that candy bar and start doing some sit-ups...crushed..

I remember being in fourth grade at a new school, a new state. I remember having wire brimmed glasses with a fat belly and 2 chins. Getting bullied every single day.

I remember knowing what depression was at the age of 11...I remember asking my dad in the 6 grade what I can do to loose weight. I remember being scared to go to school becuase I didn't know who was going to be next to tear me down that day.

I remember finally being in middle school, a confused 14 year old 8 grader. Far from ever knowing who I really was. I remember my self image being the lowest of the low, my heart shattered into pieces.

I remember being in the 9th grade. I remember watching all of my friends get tall and skinny and pretty. I remember letting anorexia get the best of me, suicide controlling my thoughts and my emotions everyday worst then the last.

But there does come a time in each of our lives where we realize what the past means, and what that can also mean for the future.

I remember when I finally got into high school and feeling a sense of release. That no one could hurt me anymore.

I remember the first time I really went out of my way for someone to make them feel good.

I remember the first time I walked down the hall and shared a smile with a perfect stranger and me not being worried about myself.

I remember the first time I watched someone drop their stuff and I went out of my way to help them pick it up.

I remember the first time I painted a disabled girls nails and the way she smiled and laughed and the way she felt beautiful!

\I remember the first time I held my little brother and his hands and feet were so small and so precious.

I remember the first time I took a run during a magnificent sunset outside.

I remember the first time I hugged my family all five of us and that moment and all of the times there after I will feel that burning passion love from my family.

I remember...so much bad...but with the bad..comes so much good...and the good is the things to remember.

Have you ever thought about what your heart beats for?
I know what mine beats for...

My heart beats for the air I breath,

My heart beats for the piercing cold wind on my cheeks,

My heart beats for the blanket on my bed that some little kids don't have,

My heart beats the laughs I share,

My heart beats for the moment right before a kiss,

My heart beats for the words we speak,

My heart beats for love,

My heart beats for my family,

My heart beats for when I do something I love,

My heart beats for every time I sing and I know I sound terrible but I am just living,

My heart beats for the tears I shed,

My heart beats for the little things we don't think matter but do,

My heart beats for a special look you get from a special someone,

My heart beats....for you.

Now..what does your heart beat for..?

 

 

Black out poetry..hopefully it works